he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Jerry, you need to find god
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
