How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Randomize
