my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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