wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
