ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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