it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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