Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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