im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
