Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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