am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
