Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
