she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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