Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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