new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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