when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
