I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Welp...herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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