Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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