The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
