Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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