Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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