id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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