btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
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i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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