Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
