So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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