u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
