is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
