Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
