Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
