Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
