So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We named our party play list daddy issues
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
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I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's rum buckets o'clock
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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