I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
