So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
