im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize