your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
home. puking in laundry basket.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
