Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
