Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
