I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize