So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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