i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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