Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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