I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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