So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
