I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
