Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
