I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
