Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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