so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
