I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
