How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
