cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
