Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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