I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
