Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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