drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
