just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Someone came in the potted fern
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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