I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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