And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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