I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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